Warrior Nun: Beatrice's Struggle

The strength to be who you want to be.

[Warning: The following essay will contains spoilers for Warrior Nun seasons 1 and 2.]

Beatrice’s struggle in Warrior Nun is extremely personal.

While at first glance Beatrice appears to be just another member of the Order of the Cruciform Sword (OCS), she quickly takes center stage as a core character in the organization. This comes in the form of her friendship with Ava, which is quickly established in Season 1, Episode 3. She’s the first nun to truly speak directly to Ava, as she too understands what it’s like to be an outsider. Ava is grateful to have a friend, though it doesn’t fully change her mind about trying to escape the OCS and live a life where she can walk freely again. Even so, we as the audience get plenty of backstory about Beatrice that hints at why she feels like an outsider—and what drove her to join the OCS in the first place.

This comes in the form of a curious conversation she has with Ava near the later half of Season 1, Episode 3. Here, Beatrice reveals she’s the daughter of British diplomats, always expected to act prim and proper because of her parents’ status as public figures. However, she apparently failed to be as proper as her parents wanted her to be, getting shipped off to a Catholic school in Switzerland. This conversation seemingly implies Beatrice isn’t anything like her parents would expect. That she doesn’t have the same propensity for neat appearances as they do. And yet, throughout the series, Beatrice is shown to be the stoic, responsible member of the group. She is conventionally proper, speaking with a more formal tone and vocabulary than other members of the OCS. Her loyalty to the OCS in general is also one she displays with etiquette. She always shows reverence for leaders like Mother Superion and Father Vincent. Even when then-Cardinal Duretti is trying to manipulate her, Beatrice maintains her formal attributes while telling him his tricks won’t work on her.

Even in battle, Beatrice maintains a formality that seems to contradict what she couldn’t do for her parents. In Season 1, Episode 4, when the OCS is stealing the Shield of Faith from ArqTech, Beatrice is cornered by a plethora of ArqTech guards who she is forced to fight. Donning her signature veil, Beatrice pulls out all the stops in using her staff to take down the guards. The way Beatrice fights is akin to a dance, as she twirls around while knocking down her opponents. Despite being in the middle of a fight, Beatrice maintains a formality reflective of how she’s always presenting herself. With every guard she knocks down, Beatrice displays her true self. The formal behavior she seemingly couldn’t master is now one of her defining traits.

So why did her parents send her away to Catholic school?

The reasoning for her parents’ decision becomes clearer during Season 1, Episode 8. Beatrice’s storyline is entwined with Ava’s this episode, the pair reunited following Ava’s attempt to escape the OCS. The two are with other major characters from the OCS at ArqTech, where Dr. Jillian Salvius is helping Ava train to phase through Adriel’s tomb beneath the Vatican. With a 20-foot wall between her and Adriel’s supposed final resting place, Ava will have to push her powers to the limit to get through. Beatrice helps her train, but at first it seems like Ava won’t have the strength to do it so early in her tenure as Warrior Nun. The pair take a break, deciding to read through one of the stories in the book Ava discovered behind the late Sister Shannon’s bedroom wall.

In the book are stories from previous Warrior Nuns, going back many generations. One of these stories is the one Ava and Beatrice decide to read, about a Warrior Nun named Sister Melanie who was imprisoned in a Nazi camp. The story causes Beatrice to become exceedingly emotional, as she tells Ava the reason why Melanie was placed into a camp: She was gay. When Beatrice reads the story in this scene, her emotions are high. Her voice is wavering and tears are threatening to overtake her eyes. She feels a personal connection to Melanie because they both share the same secret. Both her and Melanie are gay, which makes her story of persecution sting Beatrice’s heart.

However, Beatrice’s emotions are very unstable as she reads the book. It feels like the complete opposite of the proper, put-together mask Beatrice has been wearing this whole time. While it makes sense that a story of persecution she can relate to would bring up some emotions, Beatrice’s state here feels much more empathetic. Much more personal. As if she herself has suffered because of her sexuality. While Warrior Nun never outright says it, the clues are scattered throughout Season 1—with her emotional state reading Melanie’s story being the biggest piece of the puzzle. Beatrice’s formal nature contradicts the idea her parents sent her away because she couldn’t behave formally. Instead, it seems Beatrice’s parents sent her to that Catholic school because she is gay. “Proper,” then, would be Beatrice becoming straight. It’s unclear what happened between Beatrice and her parents, nor what she experienced while in Switzerland. But her highly emotional reaction to Melanie’s story hints at the horrible persecution Beatrice herself has had to deal with because of her sexuality.

This fear of persecution doesn’t stop Beatrice from displaying subtle signs of affection for Ava, though. When Ava finally manages to phase through a 20-foot wall and collapses to the floor, Beatrice picks her up and congratulates her. She then strokes Ava’s face with her hand, caressing it in a way that could only be described as loving. While the pair have their own banter together for the rest of Season 1, Beatrice caressing Ava’s face is the only implication we get in the first season that she has feelings for her. The decision to have only one scene outwardly indicate Beatrice’s feelings for Ava shows just how much she is trying to hide who she really is. And this time, she has more to deal with than just being persecuted for her sexuality. Beatrice has romantic feelings for Ava. This means that, if Ava rejects Beatrice for who she is, then she is also rejecting the feelings Beatrice has for her. Breaking Beatrice’s heart twofold, and making her feel more alone.

Which is why Beatrice avoids opening up to Ava about her romantic feelings for her. Despite Ava being willing to playfully kiss Beatrice on the cheek like Season 2, Episode 1 displays, Beatrice herself doesn’t show any outward signs of romantic emotional attachment to Ava. In Beatrice’s mind, doing so may risk their friendship, as well as bring back the pain of her past once again. By not displaying her feelings openly, though, Beatrice knows she leaves Ava at the mercy of being taken from her. These fears arrive in the form of Miguel, a mysterious young man who frequently visits the bar Beatrice and Ava are hiding out at. With Ava as a bartender, Miguel and her become close. This is to Beatrice’s ire, of course, as she believes he’s bad news and can’t be trusted. However, Beatrice’s mistrust of Miguel is not based on any warranted circumstances. Instead, it’s based on the possibility that he will sweep Ava off her feet and ruin Beatrice’s hopes of forming a romantic bond with her.

But what Beatrice doesn’t realize is that Ava feels the same way.

When Ava and Beatrice go drinking during the Season 2 premiere, Ava watches Beatrice dance. As she does, a look appears in her eyes. She’s mesmerized by Beatrice’s movements in a way that could only be romance-tinged affection. Then, in Season 2, Episode 2, when the pair get wrapped up in Miguel’s shenanigans, a Wraith Demon almost possesses Beatrice. Ava screams at the prospect, unwittingly causing a burst of energy to emit from the Halo. The Wraith Demon is defeated, but it seems her and Beatrice’s cover is blown. Even so, Ava didn’t emit power from the Halo on purpose. Instead, she did it because she wanted to ensure Beatrice’s safety, harboring the same feelings for Beatrice as Beatrice does for her. The dramatic irony is palpable, as Beatrice has no idea that she has nothing to be afraid of by confessing to Ava. And yet the audience does know, making Beatrice’s fears become all the more sympathetic. Knowing she could try, but also knowing that she won’t.

Things come to a head for the pair at the end of Season 2, Episode 2. As Beatrice argues with Ava about their cover being blown, it’s clear the pair’s arguments are coming from a place of love. Neither wants to see the other hurt, but for Beatrice, she would be willing to lay down her life to keep Ava safe. This includes getting possessed by a Wraith Demon if it came to that. While Beatrice says it’s because she wants to make sure Adriel doesn’t gain any more power over the world, the truth is Adriel’s reign isn’t as important to Beatrice as Ava’s safety no matter the situation. She is clearly engulfed by her love for Ava, something that influences everything she does. The last thing she wants to do is see Ava be harmed, because losing her would be just as great a pain as the persecution she’s had to endure throughout her life.

At one point, she almost does. After Beatrice and Ava follow a call from Superion and Camila to Madrid, the pair lead the charge in trying to recover the Crown of Thorns, an ancient device that can be used to dampen Adriel’s powers and possibly stop him from taking control of the world altogether. However, things go awry after Father Vincent follows the pair to the city, knocking out Ava with the Crown and taking her for Adriel. Episode 3’s cliffhanger leading into Episode 4, where Miguel—soon revealed to be the lost Michael Salvius—saves Ava and winds up in an area filled with Adriel’s followers, the Firstborn Children. The area is also filled with a hallucinatory gas, one of the plagues Adriel has wrought upon the world using ArqTech technology to make people think he’s the true messiah.

While Ava and Michael traverse this area, Beatrice follows, soon realizing the air has been contaminated by hallucinatory vapor. As she walks, though, she ends up encountering a mean-spirited version of Ava, who screams at her: “I know what you are!” This version of Ava is obviously a hallucination, but also digs deep into Beatrice’s psyche. For Beatrice, one of the worst possibilities to come out of befriending Ava is having her heart broken by her. This is reflective of a worst-case scenario, one where Ava both rejects Beatrice’s feelings for her and decides to persecute her in the process. The rage of the Ava hallucination and its specific phrase could be harkening back to a time in Beatrice’s life when people she loved said something similar to her. People like her parents. Having lost people she’s already close to because of her sexuality, Beatrice doesn’t want it to happen again. However, she also doesn’t want to be stifled by the world’s expectations of her, having to push down her romantic feelings for Ava because she’s been taught it’s “improper” to feel that way. All Beatrice wants to do is be herself. But everything in her life up until this point has told her it’s not okay to do so.

But Beatrice can’t help who she is. It’s clear to Camila when the pair are talking at ArqTech, with Camila realizing Beatrice has fallen in love with Ava. Beatrice seems to brace herself for a harsh rebuke, another hint that she no doubt has received them by people she’s close to in the past. Instead, Camila warns Beatrice not to pursue Ava romantically, as Warrior Nuns don’t tend to have long lifespans, which could leave Beatrice feeling worse than she does already. While Camila is trying to stifle Beatrice’s feelings, she isn’t doing it from a place of malice. Instead, it’s because of Ava’s particular circumstances that she’s remiss to approve of Beatrice’s love for her. Camila’s statement instead complicates things further, adding another question to Beatrice’s self-doubt:

Question 1: If I tell Ava I’m in love with her, will she reject me?

Question 2: If Ava finds out I’m in love with her, will she hate me for being who I am?

Question 3: If Ava accepts my love for her, will our love end prematurely because she’s the Warrior Nun?

These are the questions Beatrice is forced to wrestle with as Season 2 soldiers on. Because, despite having the ability to take the risk and see if Ava reciprocates her feelings, Beatrice is stopped by layers of self-doubt. While her outer layers indicate her as a formal, professional person, her core is filled with contradictory thoughts and self-doubt—likely brought on because of her “proper” upbringing. This impacts her ability to be honest about her feelings, not only to Ava, but to herself as well. The closest we get to seeing Beatrice’s inner struggle is when the hallucinatory Ava chastises her for being gay. Beatrice is afraid of so many things. Rejection. Disappointing the people she loves. Becoming less than she is in the eyes of the people she cares about. And all of it stems from her idea that being herself isn’t okay for her to embrace.

Until, that is, something makes her embrace it.

In Season 2, Episode 5, Ava falls many stories while undergoing a rescue mission, slamming her head against the pavement below. Beatrice’s reaction is visceral. Screaming, tears almost immediately pour down her face. She runs to Ava’s side, fearing the worst. For a moment, it seems Ava losing her Halo powers has resulted in her death. Beatrice begins to mourn over her body, the realization dawning on her that her fear means Ava will never get to know just how much Beatrice loves her. Then, suddenly, the Halo’s powers spring back to normal, bringing Ava back to life. She and Beatrice have a moment together that feels intimate, as if the pair are lovers reunited after what they thought was a horrifying loss. As they embrace, it even looks like Ava is about to kiss Beatrice. Perhaps Beatrice even knew, somehow, that everything she’d been doing to protect herself had been for nothing.

The moment doesn’t last long, but it does illustrate how Beatrice doesn’t need to be afraid anymore. If it wasn’t explicit to the audience by now, then this scene underscores just how much Ava cares for Beatrice. And how that level of care is truly romantic. It also makes their interactions throughout the final three episodes of Warrior Nun Season 2 all the more compelling, as the duo seem to be wearing their feelings more out in the open. Even though she’s still too afraid to tell Ava directly, Beatrice seems more open about her care for Ava as the back half of Season 2 progresses. She becomes fearful that their attempts to stop Adriel are going to put Ava into even more danger, not wanting to lose her despite the toll it may take on the world. It suggests that Beatrice’s struggle is reaching a boiling point, threatening to spill over and drown her. But she maintains herself, right up until the moment Ava decides to take fate into her hands.

In the Season 2 finale, it’s revealed that Ava is going to go through with a plan to kill Adriel once and for all. It’s a plan that involves her using Michael as a divinium bomb, employing her Halo powers onto him so he explodes in Adriel’s vicinity. This will kill Adriel, but it will also kill Michael and Ava in the process. While Ava tries to prevent this by enacting a different plan in Season 2, Episode 6, their ploy goes awry, resulting in Vincent stealing the Crown of Thorns, Duretti electrocuted to death, and Mother Superion briefly deceased as well. It’s not until she puts on the Crown of Thorns and meets Reya that she realizes there is no other way to defeat Adriel and save the world. So, when Ava leads Beatrice and Yasmine into a particular area of Adriel’s cathedral, she stops and informs them of the plan. A plan Beatrice is vehemently against. She doesn’t want to lose Ava, this time forever. To do so would make her feel broken inside. Not just because of her romantic feelings for her, but because she would have never gotten a chance to express them. To tell Ava how she feels. The regret on her face is heartbreaking.

But Ava makes sure Beatrice doesn’t need to feel it anymore. While Beatrice tries to fight Ava to stop her, Ava quickly subdues her. Then, she kisses Beatrice with a passionate love that halts her in her tracks. In the moment, Beatrice’s walls crumble. Every worrying thought she had about whether or not Ava would accept her becomes rubble on the ground below them. She kisses Ava back, for the first time taking initiative in the life she wants to live—not the “proper” life other people want her to have. In that moment, Beatrice is no longer afraid to be herself. Even though she’s had reasons to fear being open about her sexuality in the past, all those fears are washed away in the warmth of Ava’s embrace. But the moment is bittersweet, as Beatrice knows as she kisses Ava that it might be the first and last time they ever share one. Because Ava is about to phase beneath the floor, marching off to her certain doom. So, if she can just stay like this, for a few more moments, it will feel like it will never end.

Then, it does.

Ava pulls away and, in an instant, vanishes beneath the floor. Beatrice turns to Yasmine, pain across her face. While Beatrice was once ashamed of who she was, knowing Ava loves her and reciprocates her feelings for her have caused every barrier to come down. She’s not trying to play off what happened to Yasmine or cringing at the prospect of being told her feelings aren’t normal. Instead, she doesn’t seem to care if Yasmine thinks what just happened is normal or not. For Beatrice, it was the most important thing to happen to her in a long, long time. Something that finally gave her the strength to be who she wanted to be and destroy any semblance of her own mind that thought she should be any different.

This is further reflected as she fights her way to Ava underneath Adriel’s cathedral. Near an elevator that goes down to the cathedral’s basement level, Beatrice finds herself confronted by a group of Firstborn Children, led by the traitorous William Foster. Beatrice makes it very clear to them that if they don’t move out of her way, she’ll have no choice but to kill them. The Firstborn Children prepare for battle, forcing Beatrice to don her veil and use her staff once more. This time, however, the fight is more brutal, as Beatrice has no intention of letting any of the Firstborn Children live. The fight is symbolic because, now that Beatrice knows Ava loves her for who she really is, she’s no longer afraid of being herself. Of being a protector willing to do whatever it takes to save the people she cares about. Because now Beatrice understands the people who truly care about her would never abandon her because of her sexuality. They would never see her as less of a friend if she stopped being “proper.” Instead, they would remain by her side as though nothing had changed. Because for them, nothing has. She is still Beatrice.

Ava, however, is in love with her, the only thing that changes. However, this acts as the influencer behind Beatrice’s confidence, and is the reason she’s finally able to fight back against her own self-doubt. It’s why, when she finally makes it to the basement, she tries to stop Ava from blowing up Michael’s body and likely guaranteeing her own death in the process. But Beatrice is too late. Ava blows Michael up, getting near-fatally injured by the divinium shards that pierce her body afterwards. Adriel is killed by the tarasks drawn to the power of the Halo. They are then called back by Reya, and it’s indicated the only way Ava could possibly survive is if she went through the Ark to be treated in Reya’s dimension. Beatrice is reluctant for just a moment. After all, she’d finally found happiness with Ava. Who was the universe to tear that away from her? A cruel trick. But one she realizes she needs to go along with if she truly loves Ava.

Setting her down at the edge of the Ark, Beatrice says her goodbye to Ava. Ava says, “I love you,” before falling backwards into Reya’s dimension. Beatrice responds as the portal closes: “I love you too.”

The end of Warrior Nun Season 2 shows Beatrice facing down a new struggle. While she’s finally been accepted for who she is by the woman she loves, Ava is now lost in another dimension where time moves differently. Couple that with the Ark shutting down, and it seems as though Ava will not be able to reunite with Beatrice from what information Beatrice has. Now, Beatrice faces a world where she has accepted herself, but is still searching for a purpose beyond her responsibilities and her love for Ava. Which is why, in Season 2’s post-credits scene, Beatrice leaves the OCS. Her decision isn’t just driven by her grief over losing Ava, though that clearly has a large role to play in her decision. The reality is that, for most of her life, Beatrice has been wrestling with her inner self. Trying to behave in a way that others see fit. Attempting to quell the parts of herself that are truly her. And now that Ava’s love has given her the strength to accept these parts of herself, it’s time for her to find out who she is when her inner storm has quieted.

Going forward, it seems Warrior Nun will be presenting a new struggle for Beatrice. While she spent Seasons 1 and 2 grappling with her feelings for Ava, her wish to have her sexuality accepted, and what it means to fall in love with the Warrior Nun, these plot threads have been all but resolved by the end of Season 2. Leaving Beatrice time to find out who she truly is beyond her doubts. And beyond the OCS, given her decision to leave. The next chapter of Warrior Nun will see Beatrice struggle once again, but this time in a more positive manner. Instead of struggling against inner turmoil, Beatrice will be struggling toward finding a deeper purpose to her life. Something that goes beyond her expected duties at the OCS or her worries about being accepted. Beatrice’s struggle in the first two seasons opens a door for her journey in Warrior Nun’s future that will likely prove just as interesting and emotional as what she’s been through so far.

And with Ava seemingly returning to Earth, Beatrice’s ultimate purpose might be right around the corner.

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